A few weeks ago we had the Senior High Tool Time here at Concordia. The weekend was fill with the Holy Spirit just moving through everyone of all ages. That weekend I took one of the biggest steps of my life. I stood up on that stage in front of over 150 high schoolers, my peers, youth leaders, and faculty of CUAA and told them about my insecurities, my doubts, my sin, but most of all my testimony.
You see I am guilty of worrying and doubting God and because of that I am completely ashamed. I went through the motions of being a Christian. I was putting on such an act saying I was fully devoted to the Lord when I really wasn't. If you ask me I say this is the greatest sin to ever commit. It is something to kill, steal, or any other action but to go through the motions and lie to say you are a devoted Christian when you really aren't is something else. I felt like God had betrayed me with everything he did, but in reality I was really betraying God.
I talked to the kids that night about how lonely and lost I felt after losing my Dad when I was 8 and how I feel so different because I am hearing impaired. Tyler put how I felt in perfect terms on Sunday in his speech. I was pissed at God for so many reasons. God kept throwing these shaky obstacles at me and I just kept running further and further away. I was just going so down hill with everything that was happening in my life, plus adding things such as mom losing her job, grandparents getting sick, my uncle dying, and many other things on to the list just made everything worse.
But like I told the kids over the week, the night of November 6, 2010, I changed. I sat up by the alter that night and just prayed and gave my life to Jesus. I felt his arms wrap around me and I heard his voice in my ear saying "I am here. I always have been and I always will be." That night I had been made new by the one who loves me even though I did him wrong. I was finally comforted by the person I needed the most comfort from. I am no longer running in the opposite direction from the one who cares but I am running straight into the arms of a Savior who died so that I may live.
If anybody really knows me, they know I worry way to much. My mom once said to me "Sarah with everything you've been through and for someone who believes so much, why are you worrying? You know God has got this all in his plan for you. Stop worrying, stop doubting." Mom's words struck me hard and I realized I was running in the opposite direction once again. I came up with another motive to stop myself from going in the opposite direction. Yes I'm still running, but this time I'm running to my bible. Now when times get shaky and I start to lose my grip on what's going on in my life, I look to the source that loves me so much. I read about him in my bible and I find comfort. I sing about him loudly in songs and I find comfort. And most importantly I talk to him in prayer and I find comfort.
A friend sent me this song about a week ago on facebook. Listening to it, I found it to be almost exactly like my story. Just like she says, "Don't worry now, everything is gonna be ok."
Your life is going to get shaky and out of control. Instead of running from what you think created the mess, run to the Savior's arms and just know he is with and that everything will be ok!
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. ~Romans 8:28
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Jesus Take the Wheel
Life at times spins out of our control at most times when we least expect it. We may lose our job. We may know a family member or friend that has turn to negative solutions for their problems. We may have just recently lost someone. We may have just been given some sort of horrible news. Whatever the reason we have all felt that feeling and have turned our heads to heaven and ask God those seven words, "why are you doing this to me?" You're probably nodding your head now saying yep I've done that before. Trust me, I'm right with you.
Too many times I've had life spin out of control. Too many times have I asked God why. But recently I just realized that instead of just blaming God and asking why he is doing something, I should just put all my worries and fears into his hands. I have this thing where I worry uncontrollably about certain things and at times I get really upset and don't know how to handle the situation. There have been many nights that I would sit up just thinking about if this happen or that or if I could prevented that event. One day, about a week or two ago, I was driving in the car and just happened upon 99.5 (the country channel) and Carrie Underwood's song "Jesus Take the Wheel" came on. For some reason right then and there an idea popped in my head.
As that song ended I turned the radio off and in the quietness of the car I spoke the words "Lord I'm letting you take the wheel. I putting you in control of my life". Couple of day later when I was upset about something and said those words and instantly I calmed down. Mom, who saw me upset earlier, asked if I was okay. I told her, "Mommy, I told Jesus to take control. If he wants it to happen it'll happen, if he doesn't I understand."
For the rest of my life, when things get out of control I will let Jesus take the wheel and take control of my life. I urge you to try this as well. Let Jesus take control and lead you.
"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me." ~John 14:1
Too many times I've had life spin out of control. Too many times have I asked God why. But recently I just realized that instead of just blaming God and asking why he is doing something, I should just put all my worries and fears into his hands. I have this thing where I worry uncontrollably about certain things and at times I get really upset and don't know how to handle the situation. There have been many nights that I would sit up just thinking about if this happen or that or if I could prevented that event. One day, about a week or two ago, I was driving in the car and just happened upon 99.5 (the country channel) and Carrie Underwood's song "Jesus Take the Wheel" came on. For some reason right then and there an idea popped in my head.
As that song ended I turned the radio off and in the quietness of the car I spoke the words "Lord I'm letting you take the wheel. I putting you in control of my life". Couple of day later when I was upset about something and said those words and instantly I calmed down. Mom, who saw me upset earlier, asked if I was okay. I told her, "Mommy, I told Jesus to take control. If he wants it to happen it'll happen, if he doesn't I understand."
For the rest of my life, when things get out of control I will let Jesus take the wheel and take control of my life. I urge you to try this as well. Let Jesus take control and lead you.
"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me." ~John 14:1
Thursday, May 19, 2011
This Is the Stuff
~Losing my phone/keys/anything
~Someone cutting me off while driving
~Forgetting my debit card/money
~Running out of gas when you're in a hurry
~Slow traffic
~Nobody else understanding how you're day really went
~Bass really high in cars
~Being stuck by a train
~Pour down rain right when you are about to walk around on a college campus
and the list goes on....
I mean just today as I was driving up to school to drop off some stuff and to say hi to friends, I was stuck behind a truck going only 45 mph on the freeway, was cut off by another driver, and got poured on. I laughed when my friend told me that whenever someone would cut her off or give her the not so nice finger she will yell out to them "I may not love you right now, but Jesus certainly does and I will when I calm down". I actually find myself doing this now after she mentioned it. You should try it!
But what I'm getting at is God gives us all these challenges in our lives, big and little, to see how we make it through. We have to see, like in the song, that we need to realize that its not the end of the world when this stuff happens. All we really need to do is open our eyes to see not what is wrong in our lives but what God has given us and has blessed us with.
~A great family and friends
~A house
~Food
~Being able to touch lives
~Ability to teach
~To love Him and worship him
~To be able to go to such a wonderful school
Now its your turn. What has God blessed you with? Once you realized how much God has truly blessed you with you're "little mess" will not seem to matter anymore. We have to put some faith in God and his plan even if we do not like the way that he is doing it.
For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." So we may boldly say: "The LORD is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?" ~Hebrews 13:5-6
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Behind Those Rain Clouds There Is Always Sunshine
Rain, rain, go away. Come again some other day....
It seems all we see anymore is rain. I swear its like we are going through the Great Flood all over again lol. I hate waking up every morning to clouds of grey and hearing thunder rolling in the air and shaking the whole house. It just makes my whole day seem sad and depressing. But its not just the physical rain clouds that I'm talking about, its the struggles that life has been giving me. People I know and love have been getting sick or hurt. I, myself, am trying to decide on certain decisions that need to be made. I see friends hurting constantly in my daily life. But what has been going through my mind is the question on why does God make us struggle so much? How can he just sit up there in heaven and see his children struggling or in pain?
In the bible it states in Jeremiah 29:10 (which happens to be one of my favorite bible verses), that God has a plan for you and me. God says that he doesn't want to harm us, but he does so anyways. I see this to be a matter of faith. Even though you are going through those tough struggles, you just got to keep pushing through. In fact its even excuse to talk to God in prayer. In the book of Matthew, Jesus talks about faith as small as a mustard seed. He says that even if your faith is that small you could move a mountain, you can do anything. What gives me some comfort is knowing that God is not just standing on the sidelines, occasionally looking into my life. He standing right next to me in these struggles and cheering me on.
What I really am saying is that behind those dark, gloomy rain clouds there is sunshine that is always trying to shine through. This is like Christ in our lives. Problems come up and block our view of him but it is up to us to push through that storm to see his smiling face in the aftermath.
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." ~Philippians 4:13
It seems all we see anymore is rain. I swear its like we are going through the Great Flood all over again lol. I hate waking up every morning to clouds of grey and hearing thunder rolling in the air and shaking the whole house. It just makes my whole day seem sad and depressing. But its not just the physical rain clouds that I'm talking about, its the struggles that life has been giving me. People I know and love have been getting sick or hurt. I, myself, am trying to decide on certain decisions that need to be made. I see friends hurting constantly in my daily life. But what has been going through my mind is the question on why does God make us struggle so much? How can he just sit up there in heaven and see his children struggling or in pain?
In the bible it states in Jeremiah 29:10 (which happens to be one of my favorite bible verses), that God has a plan for you and me. God says that he doesn't want to harm us, but he does so anyways. I see this to be a matter of faith. Even though you are going through those tough struggles, you just got to keep pushing through. In fact its even excuse to talk to God in prayer. In the book of Matthew, Jesus talks about faith as small as a mustard seed. He says that even if your faith is that small you could move a mountain, you can do anything. What gives me some comfort is knowing that God is not just standing on the sidelines, occasionally looking into my life. He standing right next to me in these struggles and cheering me on.
What I really am saying is that behind those dark, gloomy rain clouds there is sunshine that is always trying to shine through. This is like Christ in our lives. Problems come up and block our view of him but it is up to us to push through that storm to see his smiling face in the aftermath.
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." ~Philippians 4:13
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