Don't Worry Now

A few weeks ago we had the Senior High Tool Time here at Concordia. The weekend was fill with the Holy Spirit just moving through everyone of all ages.  That weekend I took one of the biggest steps of my life.  I stood up on that stage in front of over 150 high schoolers, my peers, youth leaders, and faculty of CUAA and told them about my insecurities, my doubts, my sin, but most of all my testimony.

You see I am guilty of worrying and doubting God and because of that I am completely ashamed.  I went through the motions of being a Christian.  I was putting on such an act saying I was fully devoted to the Lord when I really wasn't.  If you ask me I say this is the greatest sin to ever commit.  It is something to kill, steal, or any other action but to go through the motions and lie to say you are a devoted Christian when you really aren't is something else.  I felt like God had betrayed me with everything he did, but in reality I was really betraying God.

I talked to the kids that night about how lonely and lost I felt after losing my Dad when I was 8 and how I feel so different because I am hearing impaired.  Tyler put how I felt in perfect terms on Sunday in his speech.  I was pissed at God for so many reasons.  God kept throwing these shaky obstacles at me and I just kept running further and further away.  I was just going so down hill with everything that was happening in my life, plus adding things such as mom losing her job, grandparents getting sick, my uncle dying, and many other things on to the list just made everything worse.

But like I told the kids over the week, the night of November 6, 2010, I changed.  I sat up by the alter that night and just prayed and gave my life to Jesus.  I felt his arms wrap around me and I heard his voice in my ear saying "I am here. I always have been and I always will be."  That night I had been made new by the one who loves me even though I did him wrong.  I was finally comforted by the person I needed the most comfort from. I am no longer running in the opposite direction from the one who cares but I am running straight into the arms of a Savior who died so that I may live.

If anybody really knows me, they know I worry way to much. My mom once said to me "Sarah with everything you've been through and for someone who believes so much, why are you worrying?  You know God has got this all in his plan for you.  Stop worrying, stop doubting."  Mom's words struck me hard and I realized I was running in the opposite direction once again.  I came up with another motive to stop myself from going in the opposite direction.  Yes I'm still running, but this time I'm running to my bible.  Now when times get shaky and I start to lose my grip on what's going on in my life, I look to the source that loves me so much.  I read about him in my bible and I find comfort.  I sing about him loudly in songs and I find comfort.  And most importantly I talk to him in prayer and I find comfort.

A friend sent me this song about a week ago on facebook.  Listening to it, I found it to be almost exactly like my story.  Just like she says, "Don't worry now, everything is gonna be ok."

Your life is going to get shaky and out of control.  Instead of running from what you think created the mess, run to the Savior's arms and just know he is with and that everything will be ok!

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.  ~Romans 8:28